Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
