I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
