I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
