I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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