last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
