I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
