sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
