Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
