He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
