remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
