Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
