hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
