It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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