OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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