I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
