i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
