were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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