the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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