porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
