Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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