if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
