She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
