I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
