dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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