when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
