I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You smell like stripper and shame
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
