I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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