Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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