I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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