We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
