I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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