Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
