this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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