Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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