My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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