I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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