My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I could fuck to npr.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize