I can text with my tongue
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
