Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
