why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?