help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.