Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.