I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
