i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
