Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
