yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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