being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize