Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i came on her dog
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
