i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
