Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
