I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize
