Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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