hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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