i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
