Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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