So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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