Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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