You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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