I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
