im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
