Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she peed on how many people?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
