I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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