She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
